Mrs. Mom

Just now when I told my husband the title of this post, he cocked one eyebrow and asked, "Who are you married to besides me?" Haha. I have one (one!) cute spouse.

As we're gearing up to homeschool, we've been discussing the change I'm perhaps most anxious about: the transition from mom to mom and teacher. True, I've been my childrens' teacher from birth until now, in little, everyday ways, and in some cases academically, but this leap into the homeschooling world has me expecting the dynamic between us to change, at least between the hours of 9am and 1pm (our tentative schedule which coincides with my husband's work schedule).

I think for most homeschool moms whose approach is similar to the one I plan to take, the relationship might not have to change all that much. School might just flow naturally into the way they already interact with each other, and the routine they already have established. That's where we hit a snag. In our house, routine is a four-letter word. After my oldest was born, I suffered a raging, debilitating bout of postpartum depression, and it packed up just long enough for me to get pregnant a second time and of course, (ding!) PPD round two followed after.

If it lessened over time, I could scarcely tell, because my youngest is what some pediatricians like to call a "spirited" or "high need" child. Being his mommy, while a joy and an honor for a thousand reasons, has knocked me for a loop and then some, and any fleeting thought I might have had about setting a schedule was vigorously tossed out the window.

In recent months, my youngest has become infinitely more independent, patient and mature, making motherhood smoother than I can remember, but he still puts the "need" in "high need", and as of this moment, my time still belongs to him.

With this one huge change on the horizon, I can only wonder how we will (but especially how he will) handle it. I'm going to get us going with our schedule early, either next week or the week after, so that by September 7th, hopefully, we'll all be adjusted and ready for class. My prayer is that both boys will thrive and fall in love with a routine, that they will be thrilled by the new experiences, and comforted by the constance.

I think over time the kids will help me to define what my new, dual role means, and I'm strapping on my helmet for those less-than perfect days that surely lay ahead, when I won't feel qualified for either position, but right now I'm feeling immesurably blessed just to know these amazing boys.

I'm So Excited! I'm So Excited! I'm So... Scared!

I kind of love that my homeschool blog opens with a Saved by the Bell reference. I can't think of anything more appropriate, and if I could, I would still post this instead.

My almost-five-year-old has been asking, "When?" all summer, and I have smiled (outside, while whimpering inside) and told him that September 7th is right around the corner. It sure is. All the feet-dragging in the world hasn't stopped it from coming, darn it.

I have been ho-humingly preparing since I decided homeschool was what I was going to do, but as the day that I'm really going to be really doing this began to really loom, all the preparation started to seem misspent, as none of it amounted to a plan of action. Then, a few weeks ago I met our new neighbor, who is herself a homeschooling mom. She has taught all of her children, who range from primary to high school ages. Nearly the first thing out of her mouth was a recommendation for a curriculum called FiveInARow. Just from her description of the program, I knew I wanted to check into it, and when I did, I knew I wanted to buy it, and when it came in the mail, I knew the kids and I would love it.

Basically you sit in a comfy chair, pull your baby (or babies) onto your lap, and read a story together for.. I hope you guessed it.. five days in a row. Each day, you focus on a different area of study pertaining to the story, but the lessons are presented in such a way that your child may not even realize he's learning. Each day, as you reread the story, you review the lesson learned from the day(s) before, so that all the new information has a chance to really be cemented. By showing your child different ways to look at the same story, you give him a foundation and love for education that hopefully he will apply to everything he learns going forward.

My neighbor spoke of the curriculum so fondly, as it was a true bonding time between her and her children, and years later they still talk about the stories they read together, and cite the lessons they learned. The other thing she said that resonated with me is not to enforce something stringent too early on. The more I've thought about that, the more I realize how right she is. I imagine I'm like most first-time homeschooling moms; I've had an idea from the outset of how things are "supposed" to go. I've been striving to create the ideal classroom, find the best curriculum, apply the most efficient schedule, but my neighbor's advice caused me to realize that my children are the ones I'm doing this for. A major reason I've chosen to homeschool is that I can tailor their learning experience. There is no board to appease, no head honcho to impress. It's my job to decide what they need. So, for now, I think the ideal classroom is wherever we are, the best curriculum is whatever enriches my kids, and the most efficient schedule is one that is open to change, as we deem necessary.

For now, the "Classical" in "Word and Light Classical Christian" is really just.. there. I have plans to teach in an informal classical style. Plans. But they can wait awhile.

So, back to Jessie Spano. What she said (sang, sobbed) is exactly how I feel. I'm a double scoop of excited with a heaping spoonful of scared. All the requisite doubts and fears are in place, and the bittersweet feeling of my baby starting kindergarten, while less pronounced (since I won't be watching him climb onto a bus, or turn around and walk out of his classroom), is still there. He's (We're) starting school! And, with my grabby, climby, yelly toddler in the mix, I may need caffeine pills.