Mrs. Mom

Just now when I told my husband the title of this post, he cocked one eyebrow and asked, "Who are you married to besides me?" Haha. I have one (one!) cute spouse.

As we're gearing up to homeschool, we've been discussing the change I'm perhaps most anxious about: the transition from mom to mom and teacher. True, I've been my childrens' teacher from birth until now, in little, everyday ways, and in some cases academically, but this leap into the homeschooling world has me expecting the dynamic between us to change, at least between the hours of 9am and 1pm (our tentative schedule which coincides with my husband's work schedule).

I think for most homeschool moms whose approach is similar to the one I plan to take, the relationship might not have to change all that much. School might just flow naturally into the way they already interact with each other, and the routine they already have established. That's where we hit a snag. In our house, routine is a four-letter word. After my oldest was born, I suffered a raging, debilitating bout of postpartum depression, and it packed up just long enough for me to get pregnant a second time and of course, (ding!) PPD round two followed after.

If it lessened over time, I could scarcely tell, because my youngest is what some pediatricians like to call a "spirited" or "high need" child. Being his mommy, while a joy and an honor for a thousand reasons, has knocked me for a loop and then some, and any fleeting thought I might have had about setting a schedule was vigorously tossed out the window.

In recent months, my youngest has become infinitely more independent, patient and mature, making motherhood smoother than I can remember, but he still puts the "need" in "high need", and as of this moment, my time still belongs to him.

With this one huge change on the horizon, I can only wonder how we will (but especially how he will) handle it. I'm going to get us going with our schedule early, either next week or the week after, so that by September 7th, hopefully, we'll all be adjusted and ready for class. My prayer is that both boys will thrive and fall in love with a routine, that they will be thrilled by the new experiences, and comforted by the constance.

I think over time the kids will help me to define what my new, dual role means, and I'm strapping on my helmet for those less-than perfect days that surely lay ahead, when I won't feel qualified for either position, but right now I'm feeling immesurably blessed just to know these amazing boys.